FINAL LAST BANGLADESH DIARY

March 12: So the bideshi, the foreigner, prepares to leave Bangladesh. My meeting with Shaun Williams, the Bangladesh Cricket Board development manager, is cancelled because poor Shaun gets stricken and can’t leave his hotel room for quite a while. The BCB are now aiming to place as many first class players as they can in UK clubs, and I have offered to do my best to help, starting with the excellent Home Counties and feeder pyramid, especially the Hertfordshire League. Any inquiries, hit ‘contact’ at the top.

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Arrive at Zia International Airport and notice that internet is available inside departures. The man behind the desk confirms as much. “It’s $11 for six hours,” man says. “That sounds good. I only want to check for messages, so how much for half an hour?” I ask. “No, it’s a minimum of six hours,” he replies, as though it is quite normal to have passengers waiting six hours for their flights.

Board for the Biman 001 flight to London via Dubai. Economy is full and very crowded, with a large number of tired one or two-year olds consigned to their parents’ laps for about 12 hours. I begin to wish I was in club class.

There was that creepy short story The Monkey’s Paw   by WW Jacobs, published in 1902. The paw comes into the possession of the elderly Mr and Mrs White with the alleged power of making three wishes come true. To update a synopsis -- disbelievingly the mother wishes for £10,000, more in jest. That evening the phones rings and the family are told their only son has been killed in an industrial accident, mangled in machinery. The standard compensation is £10,000.

The rest of the tale: Knowing that black forces have been unleashed, the grieving mother eventually wishes for the return of her son. That evening there is a persistent knock on the front door. They know who it is. But when the mother opens the door, no one is there because the father has quickly made a third wish, remembering the nature of their son’s death.   

Well, my wish for an upgrade came true on that Biman flight, at a price. Shortly after take-off I fell violently ill with the return of labrynthitis (overwhelming nausea caused by inner ear virus), spending three hours on the floor at the rear of the plane until Dubai, before being assisted to club class to recuperate in more space. The staff were simply incredible in their efforts to make me comfortable, and I thank them. I am also grateful for the forbearance of my fellow passengers, denied access to two of the four washrooms. The illness lasted only half a day longer. St Lucia beckons.